the love language of physical touch
We all know the power of body language – of our ability to say so much without saying a single word. And when it comes to showing someone we love them, or in-turn receiving love, our bodies can do all the talking too. Holding hands, hugs and kisses and more intimate exchanges all speak volumes. And it’s this physical touch that makes up one of the five love languages.
As one of the love languages that’s entirely non-verbal, there are all kinds of exciting and intimate ways to explore physical touch. It’s about tapping into our natural human desire for closeness and connection – and using these physical expressions to show loved ones how much they mean to us.
what is physical touch all about?
As the name suggests, this love language is all about physical contact. It’s an entirely non-verbal form of communicating love that spans the entire range of physical intimacy, to reflect the various ways we can show and receive love to all kinds of people in our lives.
A common misconception could be that this language is all about sex. And while that’s absolutely an aspect to enjoy, physical touch can take various forms. From holding hands, kissing and cuddling on the couch – right through to sex and other sensual forms of physicality, like a couples’ massage.
It’s not just in intimate relationships with partners that physical touch manifests, either. It can be just as vital for demonstrating love in our platonic connections too. A warm hug for a family member or friend. A friendly kiss on the cheek. Any form of general physical connectedness can be a powerful way of showing someone special just how much you care.
Even long-distance relationships – or connections where someone might have some personal boundaries around physical intimacy – can be defined by this love language. Ultimately, it’s about positive, safe and respectful interactions that lean into the beautiful ways our bodies can help us communicate love and care.
how do I know if this is my primary love language?
If physical touch is the love language you most strongly identify with, you’re more likely to value non-verbal, physical expressions of love, affection and intimacy than spoken words – or gestures like gifts. It’s a silent love language with the power to speak volumes about how someone feels about you that draws on a universal human instinct to be close and connected to others.
Chances are you’re the sort of person that loves holding hands, kissing or cuddling with your romantic or intimate partners. Sex and other forms of sensual contact could also be something you feel fulfilled by – although many people with physical touch as their primary love language aren’t necessarily preoccupied with the more passionate side of physical connection. You might prefer more gentle, understated contact. An arm around the shoulder. Someone stroking your hair. Being close to one another when you’re unwinding at home. Spooning in bed before you start the day.
You’ll feel just as loved and cared for with the warm hug of a family member, or the reassuring touch of a close friend as well. And in a similar way, you’ll often use your own body and means of physical touch to show someone special that you care for them. Those who speak this love language primarily have a keen understanding for the ways they can draw on physical expressions in the right ways, at the right times, to make another person feel safe, seen and supported.
how can I make someone who speaks this language feel loved?
Someone who speaks this love language will often respond best to physical signs that another person loves them. And there are all kinds of ways you can lean into or increase physical intimacy in your relationship, so that person feels as loved as they deserve to.
Knowing that this intimacy doesn’t always have to lead to sex opens up an abundance of opportunities for beautiful, meaningful physical connections (although if sex ends up being the organic result of your touch, that’s just as special). Rather, it’s about giving your loved one the right level of physical contact they need at that specific moment.
Want to show someone who speaks this love language that you care beyond your own physical touch? You could gift them an endota treatment that includes an element of massage or skincare. If they prefer to be a little more active, why not consider a couples pilates class where touch is involved – or undertaking an endota Retreat class together.
In the same way that physical touch can take a number of forms, there are an abundance of opportunities for showcasing your love for someone who speaks this love language.
how to show physical touch to yourself
book a spa treatment
Enjoy all the benefits of physical connection at the hands of another person.
use an intimate device
Enjoy self-love at its most sensual with an intimate device.
give yourself a massage
Focus on gently exfoliating and moisturising your skin so your body feels at its very best.
physical touch as a form of self-love
There are all kinds of ways you can love yourself physically too. Just like you would for a loved one, you can make time to book in for a spa treatment – and enjoy all the benefits of physical connection at the hands of another person. With that in mind, it’s just as possible for you to provide that self-love with your own hands. You can choose to give yourself a massage at home instead, focusing on gently exfoliating and moisturising your skin so your body feels at its very best. Giving yourself a manicure or pedicure is another opportunity to amplify this love language in your own way.
And if it’s the pleasure that comes from more sexual physical touch that you’re after? Spending some time with an intimate device opens the doors for rewarding and fulfilling experiences. It’s self-love at its most sensual.
Ultimately, physical touch is a love language that celebrates everything that’s beautiful in connecting body to body or physically connecting with yourself.
Curious to find out more about the other love languages? We introduced them here.
more from the endota edit
the love language of acts of service
There are infinite ways that we can show someone we care – or to be the recipient of that same kindness. They don’t have to be grand gestures or extravagant gifts, either. Sometimes, a simple act like helping your partner wash the dishes while they dry and put them away can be the most meaningful expression of love.
are micro rituals the daily acts of self-love you’re already embracing?
A brief mindfulness exercise, a short stroll, a warming cup of tea or taking a moment to spend time with a loved one. Through these little rituals you are embracing, your positive intentions are made real - by enriching your mind and energising your body, helping you feel good in the moment and more resilient in the long term.
what are love languages?
One of the most beautiful aspects of love is how different it looks and feels for each of us. In knowing which expressions of love fill our heart the most, we can develop stronger, more meaningful connections with partners, friends, family – even ourselves.